To random strangers surfing the net learning about the upcoming challenges of parenthood instead of working...congratulations on your upcoming baby! I imagine that you are receiving an unending stream of unsolicited advice, so I thought I would help with just a few tips about things that really matter, and then maybe add a couple of musings.
ADVICE
Assuming you do not start the day with a hypodermic needle and a cooking spoon, you have what it takes to be a good parent. You'll figure it out more quickly than you would imagine. That being said, every parent believes themselves an expert and they'll tell you everything they think you are doing wrong without remembering every baby is different. Nod your head and say 'Thanks for the tip.' while thinking about what Brooklyn Tony's grandfather did to live to 107 years of age (he minded his own fucking business).
MUST HAVE PRODUCTS
Everyone is going to say you have to buy this, you must buy this, if you don't buy this, your baby will DIE!...thanks for the tip. So recognize that I suffered that social trauma and still thought the following were extremely useful for The Wife and me.
Baby411
The signal to noise ratio on this book is very high, and it has answers to almost all questions that you may have about the new baby.
Happiest Baby on the Block DVD (not the book)
As soon as our lovely Daughter was pulled from the womb, the delivery nurses said, 'Man, that is a loud baby.' Delivery nurses said this, we had the outlier when it came to crying babies. If you think sleep is an annoying waste of time, then don't buy this DVD. It shows you how to take a screaming baby and turn it off like a light by using swaddling, swings, and ssshhhh.
Swaddles
One thing that they don't mention in HBOTB is that most swaddles are too small. Aden+Anais swaddles are expensive, but worth every penny.
One thing that they don't mention in HBOTB is that most swaddles are too small. Aden+Anais swaddles are expensive, but worth every penny.
Here's a youtube video I made to show a friend, she agreed that it works better than the video method as long as you pull tighter than you think you should.
It lasts for about 4 months, then you need to go to the Ferber Method
Solve Your Childs Sleep Problems
which basically tells you how to let your child cry itself to sleep without feeling guilty.
Also, Amazon and Diapers.com make life a lot easier than trying to drive to BabiesRUs, and they are a lot cheaper.
If you want to skip the Lamaze/birthing classes, this video, while not as funny as the title implies, is very informative and easier to watch with a glass of wine that The Wife will ask for a sip from occasionally.
Laugh and Learn about Childbirth
THINGS THAT START WITH A 'B' THAT YOU CANNOT BUY TOO MANY OF
Batteries, burp cloths, baby wash cloths, bibs
RANDOM MUSINGS AND OBSERVATIONS
Grandmothers--Grandmothers are a God-send until they try to kill your baby. There is nothing better than Grandma saying that she'll take the baby for the night, and then she puts the baby on its belly with a blanket (SIDS), 'flavors' the pacifier with honey (botulism), feeds the baby peanut butter (peanut allergies), uses baby powder (lung problems, use Boudreaux's Butt Paste, yellow version), adds rice to the bottle (no impact, except it clogs the bottle)...it's amazing we lived past two years of age. In short, we know now (because of Baby411) what they didn't know then, and you have to train them.
Breastfeeding vs. Formula--The Wife and I could never believe the audacity of people with their opinions on this...thanks for the tip. Whatever you do, your baby will be fine. If the mother wants to breastfeed, then go for broke with the Medela electric pump, but in the end, it's up to her.
Milestones (walking, talking, etc.)--Our girls have been early so far (because they are superior, as your child will be), but we've seen parents with kids that are late on some milestones, and they also grow up to be annoying toddlers that pull everything off of every shelf saying NO NO NO NO...very rarely are there problems.
Hospitals, Doctors and Nurses--One thing that will amaze you is that there is no agreement among anyone in the medical profession, they don't call it a medical 'practice' for nothing. Expect a lot of conflicting information, general disdain for doctors among the nurses, general disdain for nurses among the doctors, and assume the labor nurses will be more competent than the post-delivery nurses.
Rashes--All babies get them. So will yours.
Hopefully there's something useful here for the both of you, if I can leave with one more piece of very useful advice (that I may have said already).
Go out and do everything you can while you can, do not spend a single weekend night at home. When the baby arrives, your life will be completely different.
Good Luck!
